Reading the comment threads on Seanan's LiveJournal, I've seen some highly consistent reactions to a couple of the men (so to speak) in Toby's life. Everybody loves Tybalt, clamors for more of him, and looks forward to seeing a romantic relationship between him and Toby. Connor, on the other hand, elicits reactions ranging from indifference to outright hostility. (Yes, he has fans, but they appear to be a minority.)
I have a theory as to why this is so.
Seanan has, perhaps knowingly, hooked into the two classic male archetypes, and in doing so, provided support for some longstanding conventional wisdom. Put simply, Tybalt is a Bad Boy, and Connor is a Nice Guy.
Tybalt's adherence to archetype is total, or near to it. He's sensual. He's a dangerously effective fighter. He's supremely self confident. He's self centered. He has a snarky, biting wit. The series starts with Toby saying that they hate each other, with the relationship gradually warming over time as we watch. And the same qualities that make Tybalt exciting mean that he'll always have the potential to hurt Toby emotionally. (Physically too, but that's far less relevant here.)
Connor's status may be a bit less obvious. After all, he's not nerdy, or physically weak, or socially inept, or generally ineffective, traits the Nice Guy has been saddled with in countless stories, especially in movies. Both Connor and Tybalt have, literally, saved Toby's life.
Other than that, though, the classification works. Connor is, in the emotional sense, safe and harmless. His love for Toby is expressed in the fact that he would never knowingly do anything to hurt her. While he's able to hold his own verbally, his wit is gentler in its application. This makes for a stronger long term relationship in the real world, but in fiction, it makes for less interesting reading.
Worse, Connor is ineffective in the most important arena, romance. As much as he wants a relationship with Toby, he won't allow himself to pursue it because he doesn't think he can leave his marriage. He holds to this, even though that marriage is obviously loveless and unpleasant. (In this, he carries unfortunate echoes of the much despised Anthony, from the comic strip For Better or for Worse.) I suspect there's a part of many readers that finds it impossible to respect Connor until and unless he walks out on Rayseline and openly declares his love for Toby, and damn the consequences. The paradox, however, is that such an action would undercut the character. It would diminish his sense of honor, one of his more positive characteristics.
Rationally speaking, Connor appears to be a good match for Toby. Which only intensifies the emotional reactions against him, in that he can be taken seriously as a rival for the popular Tybalt. It's early in the series. Right now, there appears to be a possibility that at some future point, Rayseline will emerge as a full fledged villain, and do something that will cause the end of her and Connor's marriage. If the Toby/Tybalt relationship continues to develop, that would leave Toby faced with a choice between two serious suitors. And what's best for the character may or may not be what most pleases the fans.
What do you think?